Okay, Moms, let's talk. We have a problem. Our children are turning into ZOMBIES!!!!
It's a horror movie come to life.
I've recently mentioned my dislike for technological addictions, but I am just thinking, perhaps us moms could do something about it.
I went to my SIL's babyshower today. I was talking to a relative who just pulled her children out of a charter school to homeschool for two reasons, one of them being that her third grader came home every day and cried and begged for a phone because all her friends had one. She is nine!!!! Um, there is a problem here.
Later at the shower my niece said that being in the Beehive Presidency makes her feel like she needs a cell phone because she is expected to "text her girls" to let them know about the activities. She is the best girl ever, super mature for her age, and super reluctant to grow out of childhood, which she relishes. She talked about how it is stupid that everyone texts all the time, but it's annoying to have to borrow her mom's phone to text her girls. (She's one of the only youth I know who recognizes this, ha ha).
Okay, so it's definitely not just a problem at the schools.
But is this really a problem? I am definitely not the only one to think this. I was thinking of linking to some studies and articles, but there are just too many. It's all over the web.
Here's one, just the first one I found today, but it does its job in explaining the problem. It's alarming to a lot of people, and no one seems to know what to do. Well, teach our kids how to use technology safely (not while driving, not putting to much info on the web, etc.). That should help, right? Maybe.
The point is they are ADDICTED. It's not just a habit. If you wonder if you are addicted to technology, when you get an urge to do whatever it is you do (text, get on the computer, smart phone etc.), check your feelings. Do you feel unsettled inside. Is the technology your release from that feeling? Then after you use your tech stuff, how do you feel during? Do you feel more calm? Could you go for a week (or a day) without it? How would you feel if you went for that time without it? Our RS Pres has a rule in her family no techy stuff on Sundays. She said it is painfully hard for her children.
Children and adolescents that have so much life ahead of them should not have to rely on anything to feel normal. Do they feel anxious if they don't brush their teeth for a day? That is a habit. Their mouths would feel gross, but likely they would feel emotionally just fine. Not so with their smart phones.
But it's the way the world is going. We would be outcasts to not follow these trends, to expect things to be different! We couldn't function in society! To that I say, who the heck cares? If you saw people lining up for a shot that turned them into zombies, would you feel like you needed to put your kids in line so they would fit in? Of course not. You would run!
So, you might ask, what's the damage? They still go to family parties. Who cares if they are texting while there? They can still go hiking, even, and text on the way. What's the big deal? The big deal is if they are addicted, their agency is being constricted. They are dependent on something else for happiness. They CAN'T NOT do it. What's NOT the problem with this? Sure, texting causes some car accidents, kids have a problem with face to face interaction these days, missionaries go out and have a problem giving this up can't cut it in the field, Young employees are zoning out at work with virtual socializing, etc. But most importantly, they need something to make them happy, which is artificial, and should not be happening.
My nephew mentioned that the seminary teachers talk about this quite a bit. "You shouldn't be using your devices so much. You shouldn't be playing games so much. On your missions you will use these devices to organize your schedule, and if you are used to spending so much wasted time on them, it will be hard for you." Thank you, seminary teachers. I appreciate the gesture. Nevertheless, this is an addiction, and telling someone to do their addiction less doesn't really work that well. They may want to, they may even see a need to, but they CAN'T. Their agency is damaged.
I understand not everyone sees a problem with virtual zombie-ism. Fine, whatever. But I know many people who do. And their kids come home from school and beg for a phone (and at a young age, I might add), and after a while they give in. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right? I'm sure you've heard the argument from a parent who dislikes video games that they buy them because otherwise their kids would go to their friends houses to play. Well what if us parents banned together and decided that individually and collectively we would do what we believe is best for our children, instead of giving into this crazy social pressure? If as many parents did this who believed it, the kids would not feel like they were the only one without. Because they wouldn't be.
I don't plan on helping my kids keep phone-free forever, but I firmly believe maturity is a key factor in this issue.
I still have some time before this issue is really affecting my children. And I plan to get creative. If I could give my kids the gift of being free from addiction as they enter adulthood, they would be the luckiest children around.
