Delayed Academics???

A field trip taken with Jason's cousin's kids, who also homeschool.  

I am still reading a lot on educational philosophies, and am trying to find a great balance for my kids.  I'm reading The Read Aloud Handbook.  After reading the idea of delayed phonics in probably 5 books now, I think I am finally letting it sink in.  Just because a child CAN learn to read at age 4 doesn't mean they SHOULD.  That's what these books are saying.  Hmmm.  In, I think it is Finland, by law they cannot teach children to read until age 7.  After a year or two, the children are caught up, and eventually surpass the other countries in standardized reading tests (I think, actually they are one of the top in the world).  Hmmm.  Why do I have such a hard time with this?  Earlier has always been better, I thought.  I was proud of Levi potty training himself at an early age.  Parents like this kind of thing. But when Dana didn't potty train herself, I waited until she was 3, and there was practically no "training" at all.  I bought her undies and that was the end of it.  No small potty.  No rewards.  No staying at home for days on end with a bare bum.  Just so easy.  Some homeschool moms I know say, "If this is something my child can learn easier later, I'm going to wait."  But do I DARE to do this?  I loved Levi's charter school because they actually taught the kids stuff.  It wasn't about shapes and colors.  It was about reading and history and art.  I liked that.  Now, I just don't know.  (Okay, the fact that he was IN school, to me says he should be doing something, otherwise, he should just stay home.  I'm okay with kids wasting time, but I don't want them taken away, and wasting time away, if that makes sense.  Now that he IS home, I think I am considering what will help him grow up the most emotionally healthy).  One book I read said something to the effect of, "We are in such a hurry to get our kids to grow up.  Maybe something actually HAPPENS in childhood, and it's disastrous when that skipped."

Obviously Levi already reads, and he loves it.  But Dana doesn't read.  I know she CAN read.  I know she has the ability.  But she's not asking, she's not wanting to.  I read to her lots, and she loves it.  Do I DARE wait until she is 6 or 7 and/or asking?  I guess I feel I am under scrutiny now that I homeschool.  When a kid learns to read says a lot to people around.  Like the potty training thing.  How smart are they?  How good of an education are they getting?  I have no idea which of my Young Women are good at school and which aren't.  But everyone knows whether a child can read the scripture off the chart or not.  So silly I would think about this, but it's true I do.

So far, I have our homeschool set up with some things intense, and other things relaxed.  Piano is intense (we are up to 75 min. a day).  Academics are somewhat relaxed.  They take about 1.5 hours.  Then we read, read, read.  (usually 1.5-2 hours).  Read history and discuss, and use the tablet when I don't know stuff, which is often.  I feel like the reading we do doesn't seem like school.  It is on my bed, and the kids love this time.  I've been reading to them their whole lives, so it's just an extension of this.

Then again, Dana shouldn't read music before she reads words.  Is she developmentally not ready for piano?  I am considering a Suzuki instrument.  (Suzuki piano, I have heard is a joke, since it is so visual). We'll see how that pans out.

Ode to the Internet

I am increasingly amazed at the internet. A lot has changed in my life recently because of it.  People can learn anything at any time.  I remember when it was newer, people mostly warned to not believe everything you read on the internet.  Well, yeah, don't read everything you read in books, either.  Research is so easy, and well-rounded on the internet (I often think if I read a book on a topic, and someone has 200 pages to convince me, they probably can).  Read a little of this side a little of that side.  I think our world will be able changing drastically in the next generation.  From health stuff to other areas of my life, I never thought I would be who I am today, particularly in the last 6 months or so.  I don't know if anyone else is feeling the same way as I am, but I just had to put  that out there.  Things aren't always as they seem, and the internet gives people the opportunity to be open minded.  Mark twain said travel is fatal to narrow-mindedness and prejudice.  Now we can all "travel" from our own living rooms.  The internet is a crystal ball.  The end.

Perks of Homeschooling

We started officially "schooling" in mid August.  We are finally finding a good schedule that works well for us.  (More on that later.)  I have had to threaten Levi a couple of times to send him to school, to get him to work.  That sounds terrible, I know, but it is effective.  He liked school.  He was good at school.  But he is well aware that he has more play time because we homeschool.  Enough said.

The other day a neighbor friend said, "Do you homeschool?"  Dana jumps in, "Yes we do!  Except Millie.  She doesn't do anything.  Well, she does chores when Mom asks her. That's all."  Dana is also proud to be a homeschooler.  Her school consists of opening up Explode the Code or her math when she wants to (usually when Levi opens up a workbook, Dana will also for 15 min. or so). I've decided I don't want to force the very young children to do much.  Levi was reading well at her age.  She is very different from him.  While I think she is just as bright, she is more wiggly, squirmy, more in her imagination.  She gets frustrated and distracted much more easily. I tried about 3 different reading curriculum with her before we tried Explode the Code. So far, so good; we'll see if it lasts.  That's advantage #1:  If a curriculum is just not working for my child, I can CHANGE it!  Dana does seem to be a math girl.


Another perk:  we went to Disneyland in September.  Vacationing during the off season is great.

Perk #3:  We enjoy the outdoors.  When I went to college, I discovered I had to learn to be outside again.  I spent time outside in elementary, but it dwindled away as I got older and had more homework. (There is a heavy price tag to being a good student, and I paid that price in full and then some.)  Obviously we could enjoy the outdoors after school, but I have fit it into our schedule to have approximately 2 hours for a break mid-morning to go outside.  Spending time outdoors is so important for mental and emotional development.  My kids love to ride their bikes and all that (Dana btw, just asked to learn to ride a 2 wheeler, which totally shocked me, since she is my timid/fearful child.  She learned in an hour and is doing great), but I also like them to play in/with nature (these are the Waldorf ideas coming through), so we try to head to the canyon at least once a week.


Perk #4:  Funding!  Turns out homeschool is not only not expensive, but we are getting lots of stuff we otherwise wouldn't be able to.  Technically Levi is registered as a charter school student (an independent learner student), and we are receiving $800 to reimburse curriculum for him.  And I will get that much per year for each child that is school aged. They also took us on a paid-for field trip to the zoo, and we'll see what else they have lined up for us.  This does mean he is tested somewhat. I also need to submit bi-weekly assignments. I need to give him the Dibels test 3x a year for the first few grades.  Then it gets into more testing.  It also means we are part of common core, I guess.  But it's not that bad, and I don't feel like we are doing anything different this year than we otherwise would be doing.  For the first time I have a budget.  I mean, I have had a budget since I got married (I am married to an accountant, remember), but it's always been a "spend as little as we can" budget.  Now I have a budget of "spend this on whatever you want, because if you don't spend it, you lose it."  It's a weird mentality that I am really enjoying. I have most everything I need, and have only spent about half the money.  I think I will be stocking up on literature.

I just love this.

I've gotten lots of emails asking about this, so here is our news:

We homeschool, and it's really awesome.  I was so worried.  Basically this whole last year I tried to get things in order/i.e. get more organized (it only sort of worked), and I read everything I could on homeschool.  But telling Levi's charter school he would not be coming back was super hard.  In fact, they didn't even respond to my email!  (I know what they were thinking...).  Anyway, but once I did that, things have been awesome, and I can't believe I was so nervous.  It just feels so natural to homeschool (for us).  I'm sure I will have frustrating days.  But so far I have been grateful every day Levi is home. 

Every day we 1. practice piano (so important), 2. do math, 3. do writing and spelling 4. do reading.  Some days we do history, and I haven't even ordered our science stuff, yet (but I will).  It takes us about 3-4 hours a day (since 1 hour is piano, that's not bad at all), and less if we don't do history.  (I picked some curriculum that needs minimal help, so me actually sitting there is really not long at all.  Today I folded laundry while the kids did math and spelling, and asked some questions).  So by the time I take Levi to soccer on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I don't worry at all that I'm sending him away and keeping him too busy.  By that time his responsibilities are all finished and he's had at least a good 5-6 hours or so of play time (and more after soccer).  It really is a sweet deal.  

I'm still tweaking my educational philosophy.  One advantage of homeschool is you can do whatever you want.  I mean, as a mom I can think, "what do I want my kids to learn, and how is the best/most natural way for them to learn it?" rather than, "The state requires this, we need to show that they've mastered a skill by doing this, etc."  I have so many thoughts on this, and I have been on the swinging pendulum for a while now.  (If you aren't one to research educational philosophies, the rest of this paragraph won't make much sense, so you can skip).   The idea of unschooling is intriguing to me, but not quite convincing.  So far I do a lot of The Well Trained Mind, except, I believe in taking a somewhat softer approach (I think I'll be adding in some Montessori and even some Waldorf as well), and some other views that really respect childhood, and the child's need to explore and have freedom.  Right now I kind of view learning as either 1. a skill that needs practice (i.e. reading, writing, early math, piano), or 2. knowledge that can be acquired.  You don't need to practice history.  You can just enjoy it for what it is (unless you are worried about that quiz at the end, then all you think about is what the quiz will be on - hence we will NOT be doing tests/quizzes for many years, and then ONLY to train my kids to play the school game.  I digress).  Anyway, you can enjoy history and science for what they are now.  But to really enjoy writing (or piano or reading), you need to be somewhat fluent.  If you have to "draw" every letter (little kids have to really concentrate on the formation of letters) it is exhausting, and not fun.  But if you are good/fast at it, it is therapeutic.  So basically what I think I will do is require my kids to do these skill tasks of reading, writing/spelling, math, piano whether or not they want to (of course I try to make it as painless as I can) and the other stuff we will learn it as it seems natural and fun.  No pressure.  I do believe The Well Trained Mind in that little children are sponges and they LIKE to memorize.  So I will capitalize on that.  We have been memorizing things at meal time (they learned Fifty Nifty United States song, and we're working on United States geography as well the order of the presidents.  I'm excited to add in poetry.  I think this is natural.  My kids like doing this.  And there are no tests (have I said that, yet?)  That's my current philosophy, but I will try to stay impartial, because I'm sure things will change as I move forward.  And it is so important for me that my kids have lots of time to dig in the dirt.  That is as important as anything.  Reading is also super important.  We read together, I read to them, and he reads alone.  Literature, good literature, is amazing, and I didn't even know it until I'd graduated from college.  

I want everyone to know that I completely respect your decisions to send your kids to public schools.  I absolutely loved Levi's charter school.  I think there is a sense of judgment when people hear someone is homeschooling.  Either the judgment is they think the homschoolers are weird, or they think the homeschooler must think they are bad parents for not doing it.  In all honesty, I am a person who really needs validation.  I ask people's opinions, and I worry if they don't agree.  If they don't agree, I question myself, or try to justify things.  But I feel God has really been trying to teach me as of late that it's okay if we are different.  It really is.  There is no one perfect way to educate; this is just what I have chosen for my family.  So I hope no one feels bad or threatened if I talk about why I love it.  It's totally cool for people to talk about why they/their kids love school, and I hope it's cool for me, too.  Also, homeschooling/reading about homeschooling has given me a different view on life.  Everything we do is homeschool.  So if I refer to things (like piano, cooking, chores) as homeschool, and you think, "Well, I do that with my kids, too, and they public school," just know I know homeschoolers don't have a monopoly on teaching their children.  But I don't distinguish too much between school and life.  I just wanted to clear the air on those issues.  We can all be friends, right?  

Best Parenting Book Ever

http://www.amazon.com/Hold-On-Your-Kids-Parents/dp/0375760288

I am over the moon about this book.  I read a lot of parenting books (I can't read fiction books often, because they, uh, take over my life until they are over, but I DO read a lot of parenting books, like I'm sure many of you do).  This one takes the cake.  Love it, love it, love it.  He discusses something I would have never supposed, until about two years ago.  When I started that super exhausting/time consuming/restrictive diet, Levi was left to his own devices for the first time.  He'd run outside and play with his friends basically whenever he wanted.  I kind of let him because I was so darn busy in the kitchen.  I started noticing something:  he was mean to me when I'd ask him to come in.  He was mean to me if I told him he couldn't go out.  He was generally much more disobedient.  What was going on?  He was only 4, so surely it wasn't teenaged rebellion.  The friends he played with had the best family, so it wasn't negative influence.  When we moved to our new house, there were no friends we had met.  In fact, I didn't set up any play dates for several months because for the first time in a while Levi was happy.  And he and Dana became best friends.  And he was much more obedient.  I loved it, and wanted it to last.  Now I am more restrictive of friend-time in general, and when my kids want to play with neighbors, they play together.  I like to invite sets of siblings over, instead of just the child my kids' ages.  It works out so well.

Although this seemed instinctive after I saw what happened to Levi two years ago, I didn't realize there was a psychological explanation for this:  Peer Orientation.  And the authors gave me so many great ideas of application.  Oh, I just can't rave about this enough.

Read this book!  Trust me on this one.

Cute Children's Books

Here are some finds from the library that we truly adore:

http://www.amazon.com/Ugly-Monster-Little-Stone-Rabbit/dp/0099455951

This book is sad, I don't know why I like it so much.  But it is a cute, and I like reading it to my kids over and over.

http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Was-Raised-Librarians/dp/1561453919/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1365533411&sr=1-1&keywords=the+boy+who+was+raised+by+librarians

http://www.amazon.com/The-Best-Birthday-Party-Ever/dp/0375847634

I had a hard time getting Dana to like books.  I wondered for a while if she had ADHD.  Levi's shining trait is his attention span, but Dana, not so much.  She's doing better now, and likes me to read to her.  This was the first book that really caught her attention.  I love the pictures.

http://www.amazon.com/Small-Clara-Vulliamy/dp/0618194592

My kids love this one.  I like it pretty well.  Words are endearing.  The illustrations are average.

http://www.amazon.com/Circus-Ship-Book-Candlewick-Press/dp/0763655937/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1365535341&sr=1-1&keywords=circus+ship

http://www.amazon.com/Jamberry-Bruce-Degen/dp/0694006513

This one's not a library one.  We've had it for many years.  I'm usually not a fan of rhyming books.  Rhyming book usually means less than great story trying to sound more special than it is.  It also makes it harder for my kids to understand.  I want my kids to appreciate good real poetry.  But most rhyming books I don't even read to them at all.  I love this one. And so do they.  It's so rhythmic and fun.

I have a thing for picture books.  I love them as much as the kids.  We have a lot of books, most of them from yard sales.  At first this seemed to make sense, so we could build up a library without the huge cost.  And when a toddler ripped it up, I didn't panic.  I'm not so sure what I think of this anymore.  I'm getting more to the idea of quality over quantity. (90% of picture books at the library are pretty dumb; dumb story; dumb illustrations, etc.). I just went through our books and threw some out.  I didn't want to get rid of the ones I "liked" but I also realized I didn't "love" very many of them.  I'm trying to simplify my life and my kids' lives and possessions.  They have so many toys.  Sometimes I wish they would stop having birthdays, because they have so many grandparents, and things just add up.  Most of them are packed away, but I don't think they really cherish anything because they just have so much.  (I'm not sure they have more books or toys than most kids.  Or more than I had as a kid.  Just all kids in America have a lot).  So I'm toying with the idea of mostly just getting them a few great hardcover picture books for birthdays and holidays.  But I don't know how well that would go over, since they can get mounds of books for FREE from the library.  Anyway, just some things I have been thinking of lately.

Oh, and while I'm recommending stuff here's an awesome pencil sharpener:


http://www.amazon.com/School-Smart-Vertical-Pencil-Sharpener/dp/B003U6VSHU
I bought it at a school supply place online (can't remember the name) for only $16.50.
We tried a few different ones from Walmart and they kept breaking.  This is a best-seller on amazon, and it really is so much better than others we've tried.

The Best Story

My little brother emailed me the funniest story that just happened  to him.  In his words:

So I saw a car in the law parking lot with its lights on.  I crouched and examined the light to make sure it wasn't just the sun reflecting.  Then I walked around the car to see the model so I could tell the school so they could inform the owner was their lights were on (the school sends emails like that).  After looking at the model and considering memorizing the license plate, I figured it would be easier to just take a picture with my phone, so I did.  Then I thought it would be easier for the owner to recognize the front than the back, so I walked around and took a picture of the front.  I spent probably 2 or so minutes probing around the car, then walked on my way.  But as I walked away, the car turned on and drove off.  I looked at the pictures I took, and sure enough, I didn't notice the person sitting in the car, watching me examine his vehicle.

Here's the front picture:

Honestly, I'm not sure if it's more creepy for him that some dude was examining and photographing his car, or more creepy for me that he just watched me do it in silence.

Oh, and I posted this on Facebook.  Scott commented, "I wonder what story is on HIS Facebook page."

Great video

This is several years old.  Two months after this appeared on television in England, Brian Deer began his allegations against Wakefield.

I know most of you think I am crazy, but I really love Andrew Wakefield.  This video is heart wrenching and interesting.  I have a lot of exposure to kids with Autism, from my brother to my students when I taught school.  I love all people with disabilities.  I can't help it, I just do, even if I am only passing them in the grocery store.  But I feel the most emotion for children with autism and their families.  It surely is the most tragic, as it is the lonely disability.    Just thinking about this because there was an article in the paper today of a "new" study finding heavy metals in much higher levels in children with autism.  So crazy how the majority of people are surprised by this.  The article, of course, will not say where the metals come from.  (I know, Tuna has more mercury than a vaccine!!  And since we are all injecting tuna into our bloodstream it really is no problem).  A man commented that people should stop listening to mass media and get their facts straight, and told the garbage on Wakefield.  Ummm mass media?  Helloooooo, no.  Instead, it's the reverse.  I am so grateful for the internet.  I can't imagine if I was only limited to what I was taught at school and what is in the local papers.  That said, I'll read all sides of the issue.

Firsts for Levi

Levi had a some great firsts this year.  It really is so fun to see him grow and learn.  I honestly never thought I would say that, as I just loved to mindlessly throw rocks in the gutter with him every day for hours.  I dreaded him getting bigger.  Every age he has been at, though, I think I want to freeze life right there.  So here were his firsts when he was 5 (in celebration of him just turning 6):

Levi started piano in February.  He rocks.  My mom is his teacher, and usually recommends kids start at 6 or 7, but Levi, as I've said many times, is non-self entertaining.  I mean, he really truly is non-self entertaining.  And when the girls were napping, I would BEG him to play with toys by himself.  And he couldn't.  He'd yack and yack, and lay on his back and look at the ceiling, and I would get frustrated because I expected nap time to be productive time for me.  And it wasn't happening.  (In fact, as I write this post, he's doing Legos, and I kid you not he has not left me alone for 2 complete minutes).  So I threw in the towel, and found something useful for us to do together - which is practice piano, and I absolutely love it, and he's learning so much.  Every now and then (like today) I still insist on a little me-time, and he's back to yacking.

Levi also started school, which I've already talked about.  But I wanted to talk just a little more to let you know I absolutely adore his school.  I am so very, very impressed.  Every time I'm at his school I stand in awe when his art teacher walks down the hall.  I feel like I'm looking at a celebrity.  I admire her so much.  ALL the kids' art is fantastic.  Levi's by no means an above-average artist, and look at this chalk cowboy!  This was done in 45 amazing minutes as instructed by a very talented teacher who has neither a degree in art nor in teaching.

I cannot, however, get over the 7 hour time demands of first grade and on.  So I am enjoying his time in Kindergarten, and I still have homeschool on the back of my mind for the future.  I am glad I sent him, though, because 1. It's been a great experience for him, and 2. Even if I do homeschool, my motives for doing so will be very different.  Basically it would ONLY be because school is too long.  Love everything else about his school.  What a dilemma I am in.

Jason taught Levi to ski this year.  My friend told me about some bunny hills around that are free.  We also took him night skiing to a resort where kids are free, and with a rope tied around him, he could do the blue squares.  So fun to be out on the slopes with him.  I am, however, completely afraid of heights.  There is no activity I like more than skiing (although because of cost we don't go much), but I'm always a little afraid of the lift.  And having Levi on the lift with me was all the much more nerve racking   I told myself I would not be an overprotective mom like this.  But here I am.

Levi also started gymnastics a couple months ago.  Because gymnastics is expensive I was waiting to start him, until I felt he was at an age where if we waited any longer he couldn't catch up easily, and I thought 5 was probably it.  Besides soccer (which is cheap and was not new this last year), and a semester of Kindermusik when he was a baby, these are the first lessons we have paid for for him (piano is free with my mom).  I am realizing that kids get more expensive as they get older.  I suppose if Levi loves gymnastics, he can do it for a long time.  But the plan right now is to let it be a springboard (no pun intended) in gross-motor development into other sports, preferably basketball, according to Jason.

Happy birthday to my sweet, wonderful, everything to me little boy.