Tomatoes

Using butter knives.

My MIL is the best.  She really is.

One thing she does is gardens for us, harvests it for us, and delivers it to our door. Sometimes she even helps me preserve it.  This is our first year w/ a back yard, and the first thing Jason did after moving in was build a little garden box in the back yard.  But it went in late, and it's small, so certainly not enough to preserve.  Anyway, so in-laws have been our garden source for years, which we truly appreciate.

So I came to the conclusion a while ago I don't bottle food to save money.  What do I save, maybe $2/hr?  But I think it's a good thing to do.  The kids are getting old enough to be semi-helpful, which is nice.  Okay, it's really hard to hold down the fort around here and preserve food at the same time. But Levi and Dana do help some.

Funny story:  I remember when I was first in college I was so surprised to see my roommates use bottled spaghetti sauce from the store.  I didn't even know it existed!  My mom always used tomato sauce and a seasoning packet.  Fast forward a couple years, after I was married my MIL told me I could make spaghetti by using a can of diced tomatoes and spices.  What?  I had no idea.  I remember having a surplus of garden tomatoes one fall a few years back, and I opened a can of tomatoes to make "homemade" spaghetti sauce.  Ha ha.  Shortly thereafter, I realized I could use fresh tomatoes to make it.  I just thought back to this today and laughed at myself.  DUUUHHH!!!  Needing packets, bottles, cans (eye roll).  That's completely opposite how I cook now.

A call to parents to not give in!

Okay, Moms, let's talk.  We have a problem.  Our children are turning into ZOMBIES!!!!

It's a horror movie come to life.

I've recently mentioned my dislike for technological addictions, but I am just thinking, perhaps us moms could do something about it.

I went to my SIL's babyshower today.  I was talking to a relative who just pulled her children out of a charter school to homeschool for two reasons, one of them being that her third grader came home every day and cried and begged for a phone because all her friends had one.  She is nine!!!!  Um, there is a problem here.  

Later at the shower my niece said that being in the Beehive Presidency makes her feel like she needs a cell phone because she is expected to "text her girls" to let them know about the activities.  She is the best girl ever, super mature for her age, and super reluctant to grow out of childhood, which she relishes.  She talked about how it is stupid that everyone texts all the time, but it's annoying to have to borrow her mom's phone to text her girls.  (She's one of the only youth I know who recognizes this, ha ha).

Okay, so it's definitely not just a problem at the schools.

But is this really a problem?  I am definitely not the only one to think this.  I was thinking of linking to some studies and articles, but there are just too many.  It's all over the web.  Here's one, just the first one I found today, but it does its job in explaining the problem.  It's alarming to a lot of people, and no one seems to know what to do.  Well, teach our kids how to use technology safely (not while driving, not putting to much info on the web, etc.).  That should help, right?  Maybe.

The point is they are ADDICTED.  It's not just a habit.  If you wonder if you are addicted to technology, when you get an urge to do whatever it is you do (text, get on the computer, smart phone etc.), check your feelings.  Do you feel unsettled inside.  Is the technology your release from that feeling?  Then after you use your tech stuff, how do you feel during?  Do you feel more calm?  Could you go for a week (or a day) without it?  How would you feel if you went for that time without it?  Our RS Pres has a rule in her family no techy stuff on Sundays.  She said it is painfully hard for her children.

Children and adolescents that have so much life ahead of them should not have to rely on anything to feel normal.  Do they feel anxious if they don't brush their teeth for a day?  That is a habit.  Their mouths would feel gross, but likely they would feel emotionally just fine.  Not so with their smart phones.  

But it's the way the world is going.  We would be outcasts to not follow these trends, to expect things to be different!  We couldn't function in society!  To that I say, who the heck cares?  If you saw people lining up for a shot that turned them into zombies, would you feel like you needed to put your kids in line so they would fit in?  Of course not.  You would run! 

So, you might ask, what's the damage?  They still go to family parties.  Who cares if they are texting while there?  They can still go hiking, even, and text on the way.  What's the big deal?  The big deal is if they are addicted, their agency is being constricted.  They are dependent on something else for happiness.  They CAN'T NOT do it.  What's NOT the problem with this?  Sure, texting causes some car accidents, kids have a problem with face to face interaction these days, missionaries go out and have a problem giving this up can't cut it in the field, Young employees are zoning out at work with virtual socializing, etc.  But most importantly, they need something to make them happy, which is artificial, and should not be happening.

My nephew mentioned that the seminary teachers talk about this quite a bit.  "You shouldn't be using your devices so much.  You shouldn't be playing games so much. On your missions you will use these devices to organize your schedule, and if you are used to spending so much wasted time on them, it will be hard for you."  Thank you, seminary teachers.  I appreciate the gesture.  Nevertheless, this is an addiction, and telling someone to do their addiction less doesn't really work that well.  They may want to, they may even see a need to, but they CAN'T.  Their agency is damaged.  

I understand not everyone sees a problem with virtual zombie-ism.  Fine, whatever.  But I know many people who do.  And their kids come home from school and beg for a phone (and at a young age, I might add), and after a while they give in.  If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?  I'm sure you've heard the argument from a parent who dislikes video games that they buy them because otherwise their kids would go to their friends houses to play.  Well what if us parents banned together and decided that individually and collectively we would do what we believe is best for our children, instead of giving into this crazy social pressure?  If as many parents did this who believed it, the kids would not feel like they were the only one without.  Because they wouldn't be.

I don't plan on helping my kids keep phone-free forever, but I firmly believe maturity is a key factor in this issue.

I still have some time before this issue is really affecting my children.  And I plan to get creative.  If I could give my kids the gift of being free from addiction as they enter adulthood, they would be the luckiest children around.  

Levi, Dana and Camille were fingerpainting.

Levi: Camille, that's pretty!
Levi quietly to Dana:  Actually, it's not but we just want her to feel good.

I'm a mom of a school kid

So Levi started school.

I don't even know what to say about this. It's really weird.  But, ya know, I think that by having the mentality of "this may be our only year of sending him to school, and if we do send him later on, it'll be because we choose to and think it will be best for him and our family," has made it a lot easier on me.  Prior I always felt like it was the government ripping our children out of our hands at much too young ages.  So this change of thought has made the transition much easier on me.  Also, two years years ago, I had a wrestle (in prayer, of course) with the Lord about Levi growing up.  I told the Lord I would let it happen (like I had any choice), but He'd have to make me okay with it.  You know, it really helped - a lot.  Also, since I taught him to read and started him in piano, it has been so fun to watch him learn, and has made me more anxious to see him grow and develop, rather than basking in his baby-ness.  All of these things have helped me be okay with his first day of Kindergarten.  I didn't even cry ... or worry.

This is the "casual day" uniform.  The "dress day" requires button up shirts and ties.  So darling. And no, he doesn't mind the tie at all.

Each time I get on to type, I think, "I want to talk more about homeschooling."  I do actually have more reasons than those I've listed.  But I write these posts pretty fast, and I'm not thinking of all my reasons at the time.  Then as I go through my day I'll remember others.  

BUT I'm not going to talk about homeschooling. :) I thought I should tell you why we decided to do the charter school.  

1.  Fear.  Yes, it's true.  I was afraid of giving up our spot in the charter lottery when I didn't really know what we should do.  So if anyone thinks I shouldn't homeschool out of fear, perhaps I also shouldn't send him to school out of fear?  Ha ha.  But anyway, in all honesty, this did play a role.  

2.  I'm up to my eyebrows in responsibility.  This is a challenging time for me, mostly trying to solidify everything with our health.  It has taken a big tole on me (and our budget), and ya know, one more year to get things all worked out (w/o having to worry about school) would do me some good.

3.  I wanted to see what the charter school was like.  It's not very fair to base my decision on his educational opportunities over at the charter school based on nation-wide stats of public schools.  Or even my experience in public school.  This is a fabulous charter school.  Sometimes when I see info about public schools they are talking about inner-city, low-income, etc. etc.  Not the best comparison, even to a nice district like I live in.  But the charter goes beyond the nice district, I think, and I wanted to really see what it would be like. Yeah, he's still in a big classroom w/o individualized instruction (though they do a lot of leveled breakout groups).  But I just wanted to test it out to really see.

Those are the 3 main reasons.  I know I didn't type as much about them as the homeschool stuff.  Funny why that is.  But anyway, the charter seems pretty good, so far.  At least he's having fun if nothing else, ha ha.  Oh, he did say he wants to be an astronaut, now, after learning about the moon today.  I'm sure that will happen.

School

I'm pretty sure we will be sending Levi to the charter school this year.  It is a bitter sweet realization.  But if my concerns are really just as I've said them, I shouldn't have much concern with the charter this next year.  It is only Kindergarten, so the time length is great.  I'm sure I will be going through this process all over again next year, though, because doubling the time demands will be really annoying to me, I think.  But anyway, I think this will give us a chance to see how we like the charter in general.  If it really is outstanding, then perhaps it is worth the time.  There is also a private school not too far that is a half day.  It is also only $120/month.  This may be a good option for us in the future if we decide, if we move a bit closer, and if/when we can actually afford the (small) amount of $120/month.

But I think I will forever more have a love for homeschooling, even if I never do it.  I think I should clarify I had no intention of sitting at home all day with my kids and cutting out leather to make shoes.  I chuckled to myself when I wrote that in the last post, as I was just demonstrating that there are a lot of valuable skills not to be had in schools.  But really, it probably came across as pretty weird.  I am actually very concerned about academics.  There are a lot of homeschooling parents, especially locally, who believe in delayed academics.  While there are possibly some good things about it, in general, I think it merely makes the kids fall behind, which then gives homeschooling a bad name.

There is a blog I read and this mom has such an amazing homeschool.  Her children are a few years older than mine.  They are playing the piano (and getting good, I might add, since there is playing the piano, and playing the piano).  They are soaring with academics.  The 9 year old daughter goes to sewing once a week.  She also picked up the flute the last couple years.  She hires a tutor to come teach her kids Spanish. She is able to make scripture study a part of school. And she has her girls in competitive gymnastics.  They go for 3 hours 2-3x a week.  Here is what she wrote on her blog about gymnastics:

People are always curious as to my reasons for homeschooling the children.  The reasons are myriad but include my desire for the children to be excellent and not overwhelmed.  I want them to excel and develop talents. ...


Gymnastics adds a wonderful balance to our homeschooling.  It gives the girls large blocks of time which they spend with a peer group and other adults.  It is a situation which requires discipline and performance.  Brent and I have no desire to train them for a future in gymnastics, most likely by the time they are 12 we will have reaped all the benefits of the sport.  The rigorous time demands can be very difficult for teammates who spend 7 hours at school.  It is a drain on the child and the family.  This has become very clear from my conversations with the mothers of their peers.  For now, gymnastics is serving an excellent purpose in the health and well being of the girls. 


Isn't that great? I just love that.  You see, homeschooling isn't about keeping your kids at home all the time and missing out in society.  You just get a different taste of society, still great interactions.  Since today is the Olympic Opening Ceremony, I've been thinking about this.  I don't ever plan on raising an Olympic athlete (that's called putting your eggs in the rarest basket), but I did gymnastics as a kid, and I really loved it.  I've always regretted quitting.  You want to know why I quit?  Because I was tired.  It was exhausting to go to school, then go straight to gymnastics, and never feel like you have any free time.  And if you do want to learn an instrument on top of that, or anything else useful... And what about family time, anyway?  You see.  So here I am again talking about homeschooling, when it's not what we will be doing this year.  I'm just trying to show you what I feel like I will be leaving behind if I don't homeschool, and why it makes me a little sad.  But I do have to say there is no one perfect way.  Each of the educational choices we've considered have their pros and cons.

In college I attended a presentation and the speaker was the mother of the year a while back.  She said that the education of your children is your responsibility.  You can use the schools as a tool, if you choose, but ultimately you are in charge of their education.  She also said that in any given year she'd have some children in public, some in private, and some homeschooled, depending on the child and the year (she had 11 children).  I've kind of kept this as my motto ever since, and will probably always consider the individuality of my children for the education.  I don't know if I could do that much juggling with 11 kids, though :)

More school talk

(Sorry, my blog seems to be forever picture-less.  Sure sign of laziness).

SOOOOOOO school is starting here in another few weeks, and I still have no idea what the blasted heck I am going to do! Jason has basically left the decision up to me (he agrees with the pros and the cons), but did tell me that I really need to set a time limit for myself.  I can't stew about it forever.  So this week is it.  I need to either buy the uniforms (I do like the idea of uniforms), or buy the curriculum.  I am feeling a big weight on my shoulders and my blog is my ranting outlet, so here I go with some more thoughts.

Am I wanting to homeschool out of fear?  I cannot deny this is partially true.  However, I recognize this, and I won't let fear guide my decision.  I have a funny habit of reading anonymous blogs of women whose husbands are addicted to pornography.  It is weird, since my husband is not, but I have a lot of strong feelings in this area, and I think it is best to be highly educated in this regard, and the blogs have a lot of good info.  And I have a lot of sympathy.  Anyway, when I read them I think our society is a mess, and frankly, I'm ready for the world to burn up.  C'mon, aren't you?  You know what I mean.  And almost every time I see a teenager (family function, church function, public setting, etc. ) they are inevitably texting.  Sheesh. (Okay, I don't mean to offend.  I'm sure not all kids do, and perhaps you see nothing wrong with it.  I just don't personally want my kids to be that way).  So, will homeschooling keep my kids out of these things?  I don't know.  Perhaps chronic robotic texting is inevitable in our society.  I always hear it is not good to make fear-based decisions.  But sometimes I think, I wouldn't jump out of my window because I'd be afraid.  Maybe that fear is there for a reason, ya know? (I know, jumping out the window also doesn't make sense.  Cheap analogy off the top of my head). But, several years ago I had a very big decision to make.  I felt so so so nervous and fearful about going through with it, but everyone told me, "Fear is not from God. From God is a stupor of thought."  (I had all encouragement from everyone to go ahead).  Let me tell you, everyone was wrong.  I don't know why I felt fearful, but I AM SO GLAD I DIDN'T GO THROUGH WITH THAT THING.  My life would be 100% different, and likely 100% worse.  So is fear a bad thing?  Sometimes answers to prayers are so clean cut for me, and other times I struggle.  Like now.

Since our move to our new house, the kids are PLAYING together.  They are so happy!  I love it.  Levi was constantly begging to go play with friends before.  I mean CONSTANTLY.  We are still new enough that he hasn't gotten into the habit of perpetual friend-playing, and it is really, really nice.  Nothing against friends, but I love to see my kids play together.  I remember growing up and resenting that there were friends at our house all the time.  Why couldn't we just hang out together.  I like my siblings.  When Levi has been playing with friends for a while (over an hour), he starts to get a little mean.  He's more disobedient, less careful in what he does, less inclusive of his sisters.  I don't know why this is, but I don't like it.  Now, how much is too much?  How much is not enough?

I have so many aspirations for my kids.  Maybe I'm not realistic.  Could I really pull it all off?  Many of the things I want my kids to learn are things that I DON'T DO, and I partly blame it on me spending too much time in the public school playing their game (cram, regurgitate, forget = 4.0).  I really want my kids to learn blue-collar jobs.  Not for a job necessarily, but to have that skill.  I believe/hope they will live to see the day of the collapse of everything, and it might come in handy for them to know how/where to dig a canal, how to be really good at gardening, how to build a house, and maybe even how to make shoes!  (I know, and you thought I was weird before.  Making shoes, come on, Erin.  Yes, yes, but really - I did  have religion professor who said we'd need to learn to make our own things, including shoes, but I don't have the quote he was referencing.  But if not shoes, I would atleast like my girls to be seamstress extraordinaires).  Anyway, I'm totally rambling.  I really resent the time-suck of school.  I WISH it could be 3 hours.  There is so much to learn.  I want my kids to do apprenticeships, and lots of them.  I think THAT is the best way to learn, in so many areas.  Not worksheets.  Not simulations. Not even oral reports and video aides.  It's funny because I keep hearing schools say they need to make financial literacy courses required for graduation.  I don't blame them - our society is debt-crazy, and that in itself is totally scary.  But a class or two isn't really going to do all that much.  I took two financial literacy classes in college, and was totally determined to save.  It seemed easy.  But it's only easy in theory.  Jason has taught me more about managing money than I could have ever learned even if I had a degree in finance. And I only learned it because he twisted my arm, ha ha, something for which I am eternally grateful.  And he learned it from his family, not really from Accounting.  Anyway, sometimes living something, practicing something, is so much better than just knowing about something.  And the schools don't give us that practice (not their fault, just limited resources).  We can learn some things after school from our families.  But there's not much time to learn many things, really well, after school.

There are wonderful things about the charter as well.  Not trying to play up just the homeschool.  I just don't have to explain so much what everyone already knows on the other side of the coin.

I have prayed and prayed about this, and have not gotten an answer.  I have sincerely told God that I will do whatever He wants me to do, but that I'd appreciate Him letting me know.  Also, from instructions on how to receive answers to prayers, I have made a decision and prayed about it.  When I got no answer, I made the other decision and prayed about it.  Perhaps He is telling me it doesn't matter.  Either choice would be good.

You see why I am so confused?  I know, it's just Kindergarten. Maybe I should just try it and see how it goes.  But that would mean giving up Levi's spot in the charter school.  The charter is drawn by lottery, and he only got in after being on the waiting list for a while.  What I don't want to have happen is homeschool a year, decide it's not for us, and end up sticking him in public school because he can't get into the charter again.  So I need to be confident.  But I'm so confused!!!

New House

Just before Jason graduated, he approached his real-estate professor and asked if he thought we should buy a home before we left for the summer, or wait until we returned.  He said that he thought we'd be better off waiting a year or two to purchase.  When Jason told me that, I hit the roof.  What?  A year or two?  At this point we already had 2 children, and I was so excited for my very own home.

It has been over 3 years since then, and we still haven't bought a house.  We're better off for it, although I do suspect the market has finally bottomed out.  But because we are non-commital, we decided to move to another rental with a yard, that is closer to the charter school (in case we decide to send Levi there).

That's a short version of what we are up to.  We moved in a couple weeks ago and love it.  The kids playing in the hose all day just like children should in the summer time.  I'd like to take bets.  How long until we actually decide to buy?