Best Parenting Book Ever

http://www.amazon.com/Hold-On-Your-Kids-Parents/dp/0375760288

I am over the moon about this book.  I read a lot of parenting books (I can't read fiction books often, because they, uh, take over my life until they are over, but I DO read a lot of parenting books, like I'm sure many of you do).  This one takes the cake.  Love it, love it, love it.  He discusses something I would have never supposed, until about two years ago.  When I started that super exhausting/time consuming/restrictive diet, Levi was left to his own devices for the first time.  He'd run outside and play with his friends basically whenever he wanted.  I kind of let him because I was so darn busy in the kitchen.  I started noticing something:  he was mean to me when I'd ask him to come in.  He was mean to me if I told him he couldn't go out.  He was generally much more disobedient.  What was going on?  He was only 4, so surely it wasn't teenaged rebellion.  The friends he played with had the best family, so it wasn't negative influence.  When we moved to our new house, there were no friends we had met.  In fact, I didn't set up any play dates for several months because for the first time in a while Levi was happy.  And he and Dana became best friends.  And he was much more obedient.  I loved it, and wanted it to last.  Now I am more restrictive of friend-time in general, and when my kids want to play with neighbors, they play together.  I like to invite sets of siblings over, instead of just the child my kids' ages.  It works out so well.

Although this seemed instinctive after I saw what happened to Levi two years ago, I didn't realize there was a psychological explanation for this:  Peer Orientation.  And the authors gave me so many great ideas of application.  Oh, I just can't rave about this enough.

Read this book!  Trust me on this one.

Cute Children's Books

Here are some finds from the library that we truly adore:

http://www.amazon.com/Ugly-Monster-Little-Stone-Rabbit/dp/0099455951

This book is sad, I don't know why I like it so much.  But it is a cute, and I like reading it to my kids over and over.

http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Was-Raised-Librarians/dp/1561453919/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1365533411&sr=1-1&keywords=the+boy+who+was+raised+by+librarians

http://www.amazon.com/The-Best-Birthday-Party-Ever/dp/0375847634

I had a hard time getting Dana to like books.  I wondered for a while if she had ADHD.  Levi's shining trait is his attention span, but Dana, not so much.  She's doing better now, and likes me to read to her.  This was the first book that really caught her attention.  I love the pictures.

http://www.amazon.com/Small-Clara-Vulliamy/dp/0618194592

My kids love this one.  I like it pretty well.  Words are endearing.  The illustrations are average.

http://www.amazon.com/Circus-Ship-Book-Candlewick-Press/dp/0763655937/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1365535341&sr=1-1&keywords=circus+ship

http://www.amazon.com/Jamberry-Bruce-Degen/dp/0694006513

This one's not a library one.  We've had it for many years.  I'm usually not a fan of rhyming books.  Rhyming book usually means less than great story trying to sound more special than it is.  It also makes it harder for my kids to understand.  I want my kids to appreciate good real poetry.  But most rhyming books I don't even read to them at all.  I love this one. And so do they.  It's so rhythmic and fun.

I have a thing for picture books.  I love them as much as the kids.  We have a lot of books, most of them from yard sales.  At first this seemed to make sense, so we could build up a library without the huge cost.  And when a toddler ripped it up, I didn't panic.  I'm not so sure what I think of this anymore.  I'm getting more to the idea of quality over quantity. (90% of picture books at the library are pretty dumb; dumb story; dumb illustrations, etc.). I just went through our books and threw some out.  I didn't want to get rid of the ones I "liked" but I also realized I didn't "love" very many of them.  I'm trying to simplify my life and my kids' lives and possessions.  They have so many toys.  Sometimes I wish they would stop having birthdays, because they have so many grandparents, and things just add up.  Most of them are packed away, but I don't think they really cherish anything because they just have so much.  (I'm not sure they have more books or toys than most kids.  Or more than I had as a kid.  Just all kids in America have a lot).  So I'm toying with the idea of mostly just getting them a few great hardcover picture books for birthdays and holidays.  But I don't know how well that would go over, since they can get mounds of books for FREE from the library.  Anyway, just some things I have been thinking of lately.

Oh, and while I'm recommending stuff here's an awesome pencil sharpener:


http://www.amazon.com/School-Smart-Vertical-Pencil-Sharpener/dp/B003U6VSHU
I bought it at a school supply place online (can't remember the name) for only $16.50.
We tried a few different ones from Walmart and they kept breaking.  This is a best-seller on amazon, and it really is so much better than others we've tried.

The Best Story

My little brother emailed me the funniest story that just happened  to him.  In his words:

So I saw a car in the law parking lot with its lights on.  I crouched and examined the light to make sure it wasn't just the sun reflecting.  Then I walked around the car to see the model so I could tell the school so they could inform the owner was their lights were on (the school sends emails like that).  After looking at the model and considering memorizing the license plate, I figured it would be easier to just take a picture with my phone, so I did.  Then I thought it would be easier for the owner to recognize the front than the back, so I walked around and took a picture of the front.  I spent probably 2 or so minutes probing around the car, then walked on my way.  But as I walked away, the car turned on and drove off.  I looked at the pictures I took, and sure enough, I didn't notice the person sitting in the car, watching me examine his vehicle.

Here's the front picture:

Honestly, I'm not sure if it's more creepy for him that some dude was examining and photographing his car, or more creepy for me that he just watched me do it in silence.

Oh, and I posted this on Facebook.  Scott commented, "I wonder what story is on HIS Facebook page."

Great video

This is several years old.  Two months after this appeared on television in England, Brian Deer began his allegations against Wakefield.

I know most of you think I am crazy, but I really love Andrew Wakefield.  This video is heart wrenching and interesting.  I have a lot of exposure to kids with Autism, from my brother to my students when I taught school.  I love all people with disabilities.  I can't help it, I just do, even if I am only passing them in the grocery store.  But I feel the most emotion for children with autism and their families.  It surely is the most tragic, as it is the lonely disability.    Just thinking about this because there was an article in the paper today of a "new" study finding heavy metals in much higher levels in children with autism.  So crazy how the majority of people are surprised by this.  The article, of course, will not say where the metals come from.  (I know, Tuna has more mercury than a vaccine!!  And since we are all injecting tuna into our bloodstream it really is no problem).  A man commented that people should stop listening to mass media and get their facts straight, and told the garbage on Wakefield.  Ummm mass media?  Helloooooo, no.  Instead, it's the reverse.  I am so grateful for the internet.  I can't imagine if I was only limited to what I was taught at school and what is in the local papers.  That said, I'll read all sides of the issue.

Firsts for Levi

Levi had a some great firsts this year.  It really is so fun to see him grow and learn.  I honestly never thought I would say that, as I just loved to mindlessly throw rocks in the gutter with him every day for hours.  I dreaded him getting bigger.  Every age he has been at, though, I think I want to freeze life right there.  So here were his firsts when he was 5 (in celebration of him just turning 6):

Levi started piano in February.  He rocks.  My mom is his teacher, and usually recommends kids start at 6 or 7, but Levi, as I've said many times, is non-self entertaining.  I mean, he really truly is non-self entertaining.  And when the girls were napping, I would BEG him to play with toys by himself.  And he couldn't.  He'd yack and yack, and lay on his back and look at the ceiling, and I would get frustrated because I expected nap time to be productive time for me.  And it wasn't happening.  (In fact, as I write this post, he's doing Legos, and I kid you not he has not left me alone for 2 complete minutes).  So I threw in the towel, and found something useful for us to do together - which is practice piano, and I absolutely love it, and he's learning so much.  Every now and then (like today) I still insist on a little me-time, and he's back to yacking.

Levi also started school, which I've already talked about.  But I wanted to talk just a little more to let you know I absolutely adore his school.  I am so very, very impressed.  Every time I'm at his school I stand in awe when his art teacher walks down the hall.  I feel like I'm looking at a celebrity.  I admire her so much.  ALL the kids' art is fantastic.  Levi's by no means an above-average artist, and look at this chalk cowboy!  This was done in 45 amazing minutes as instructed by a very talented teacher who has neither a degree in art nor in teaching.

I cannot, however, get over the 7 hour time demands of first grade and on.  So I am enjoying his time in Kindergarten, and I still have homeschool on the back of my mind for the future.  I am glad I sent him, though, because 1. It's been a great experience for him, and 2. Even if I do homeschool, my motives for doing so will be very different.  Basically it would ONLY be because school is too long.  Love everything else about his school.  What a dilemma I am in.

Jason taught Levi to ski this year.  My friend told me about some bunny hills around that are free.  We also took him night skiing to a resort where kids are free, and with a rope tied around him, he could do the blue squares.  So fun to be out on the slopes with him.  I am, however, completely afraid of heights.  There is no activity I like more than skiing (although because of cost we don't go much), but I'm always a little afraid of the lift.  And having Levi on the lift with me was all the much more nerve racking   I told myself I would not be an overprotective mom like this.  But here I am.

Levi also started gymnastics a couple months ago.  Because gymnastics is expensive I was waiting to start him, until I felt he was at an age where if we waited any longer he couldn't catch up easily, and I thought 5 was probably it.  Besides soccer (which is cheap and was not new this last year), and a semester of Kindermusik when he was a baby, these are the first lessons we have paid for for him (piano is free with my mom).  I am realizing that kids get more expensive as they get older.  I suppose if Levi loves gymnastics, he can do it for a long time.  But the plan right now is to let it be a springboard (no pun intended) in gross-motor development into other sports, preferably basketball, according to Jason.

Happy birthday to my sweet, wonderful, everything to me little boy.

My Girls Recently

These are some things I heard Camille say recently,
"Dad!  Levi's not getting me toilet paper!"  (He had asked her to get some for him to blow his nose, and she thought she'd ask the favor in reverse, though Levi was already asleep, and Camille didn't like him ignoring her).
"I take a bath.  Actually, a shower."
And I'm thinking, did she just say 'actually'?  
Not bad for 22 months old.

She learned to climb out of her crib a month ago.  Bummer.  It's been a rough month in the sleep department (not that it was ever great), but she's done much better the last few nights, knock on wood.

We went off our diet after 1 year (in June) to pursue another healing venue (I'm shooting for the same purpose, but decided on different means).  Camille immediately took a turn for the worse.  She got a chronic diaper rash that she still has.  She has a rash on her cheeks this winter that she didn't last.  She had an immediate change in behavior - anxiety (though not as severe as Dana), and irritability. Night waking galore. She also got really constipated, something which is finally clearing up.  Jason had questioned our diet all along, but as soon as he saw Camille's changes, he said, "What happened to her!  We need to go back on the diet!"  But we couldn't.  I was doing horrible on it (besides the dark under-eye circles, which are still gone).  Camille was doing the best, and everyone well, but me, horrible. (I still nurse, so can't do her on and me off). I've been hitting this other protocol pretty hard, and am finally *I hope* seeing positive improvements in Camille.

And Dana.  Oh, my sweet little Dana.  I am so worried about her.  She has major emotional problems.  People ask me why I go through the efforts I do with food.  They must not understand what it is like to have a child with anxiety.  But most likely they must not believe anxiety has anything to do with digestion.  Who could let their child live like this?  Daily panic attacks over nothing. I keep imagining her as a 14 year old running off with a 35 year old creep, because she's so insecure about herself.  So, yes, I would do anything.  I thoroughly believe her problem lies in her digestive system.  She has chronic diarrhea, and when I can get her stools solid (by use of bentonite clay), she is calm and happy. A very obvious correlation to me.   It just takes a long time to heal a gut.  I wish it could go faster.

Gosh, this health stuff is really annoying.  I am determined to finish up a job I started, but I am so sick of it all.  The good news is this other protocol is not a diet.  We have even been out to eat a handful of times, which has been fun (though I often bring our own salad dressing, ha ha), and am choosy about what we get off the menu.  We eat all whole foods at home, still honey and fruit as our only sweeteners, still lots of butter :) But it's not so strict. (But still very strict compared to most people's standards).  I felt absolutely paranoid of everything on the other protocol.  Now I am more relaxed.  But I'm also still trying to simplify my time in the kitchen, because I actually do not have a love of cooking, by any means (I basically hate it).  I simply have an intense desire for my family to be happy and healthy.

Does trying to eat healthy make you sick?

That's what someone asked me the other day - she said it seems the people who care most about food have the most problems.  When I was pregnant with Levi, I was working in the public schools, and I ate school lunch every day.  I "cared" about nutrition enough that I bought whole wheat bread vs. white, and I tried to have a dark leafy green salad with dinner.  That was about it.  And yet Levi still came out with colic and reflux.  My  girls I ate different things, and still the same scenario.

I think having health problems leads people on a quest to find a solution.  It is no fun having a baby that cries all the time.  It is no fun not feeling good.  Actually, I was so miserable during Levi's pregnancy.   I realized if that was what chronic health problems were like I would do whatever I could to prevent them.  However, I didn't really change anything in our diets too much until he was about 8 months old. Restrictive diets can be damaging to some, and not others.  But I think all in all, if your body is healthy - if you have good bacteria, it doesn't matter what you eat.  You can eat junk, you can eat vegan, you can eat paleo, you can eat whole foods, whatever, and your body can handle it.

Just thought I'd say that in case anyone has wondered.