I'm a mom of a school kid

So Levi started school.

I don't even know what to say about this. It's really weird.  But, ya know, I think that by having the mentality of "this may be our only year of sending him to school, and if we do send him later on, it'll be because we choose to and think it will be best for him and our family," has made it a lot easier on me.  Prior I always felt like it was the government ripping our children out of our hands at much too young ages.  So this change of thought has made the transition much easier on me.  Also, two years years ago, I had a wrestle (in prayer, of course) with the Lord about Levi growing up.  I told the Lord I would let it happen (like I had any choice), but He'd have to make me okay with it.  You know, it really helped - a lot.  Also, since I taught him to read and started him in piano, it has been so fun to watch him learn, and has made me more anxious to see him grow and develop, rather than basking in his baby-ness.  All of these things have helped me be okay with his first day of Kindergarten.  I didn't even cry ... or worry.

This is the "casual day" uniform.  The "dress day" requires button up shirts and ties.  So darling. And no, he doesn't mind the tie at all.

Each time I get on to type, I think, "I want to talk more about homeschooling."  I do actually have more reasons than those I've listed.  But I write these posts pretty fast, and I'm not thinking of all my reasons at the time.  Then as I go through my day I'll remember others.  

BUT I'm not going to talk about homeschooling. :) I thought I should tell you why we decided to do the charter school.  

1.  Fear.  Yes, it's true.  I was afraid of giving up our spot in the charter lottery when I didn't really know what we should do.  So if anyone thinks I shouldn't homeschool out of fear, perhaps I also shouldn't send him to school out of fear?  Ha ha.  But anyway, in all honesty, this did play a role.  

2.  I'm up to my eyebrows in responsibility.  This is a challenging time for me, mostly trying to solidify everything with our health.  It has taken a big tole on me (and our budget), and ya know, one more year to get things all worked out (w/o having to worry about school) would do me some good.

3.  I wanted to see what the charter school was like.  It's not very fair to base my decision on his educational opportunities over at the charter school based on nation-wide stats of public schools.  Or even my experience in public school.  This is a fabulous charter school.  Sometimes when I see info about public schools they are talking about inner-city, low-income, etc. etc.  Not the best comparison, even to a nice district like I live in.  But the charter goes beyond the nice district, I think, and I wanted to really see what it would be like. Yeah, he's still in a big classroom w/o individualized instruction (though they do a lot of leveled breakout groups).  But I just wanted to test it out to really see.

Those are the 3 main reasons.  I know I didn't type as much about them as the homeschool stuff.  Funny why that is.  But anyway, the charter seems pretty good, so far.  At least he's having fun if nothing else, ha ha.  Oh, he did say he wants to be an astronaut, now, after learning about the moon today.  I'm sure that will happen.

School

I'm pretty sure we will be sending Levi to the charter school this year.  It is a bitter sweet realization.  But if my concerns are really just as I've said them, I shouldn't have much concern with the charter this next year.  It is only Kindergarten, so the time length is great.  I'm sure I will be going through this process all over again next year, though, because doubling the time demands will be really annoying to me, I think.  But anyway, I think this will give us a chance to see how we like the charter in general.  If it really is outstanding, then perhaps it is worth the time.  There is also a private school not too far that is a half day.  It is also only $120/month.  This may be a good option for us in the future if we decide, if we move a bit closer, and if/when we can actually afford the (small) amount of $120/month.

But I think I will forever more have a love for homeschooling, even if I never do it.  I think I should clarify I had no intention of sitting at home all day with my kids and cutting out leather to make shoes.  I chuckled to myself when I wrote that in the last post, as I was just demonstrating that there are a lot of valuable skills not to be had in schools.  But really, it probably came across as pretty weird.  I am actually very concerned about academics.  There are a lot of homeschooling parents, especially locally, who believe in delayed academics.  While there are possibly some good things about it, in general, I think it merely makes the kids fall behind, which then gives homeschooling a bad name.

There is a blog I read and this mom has such an amazing homeschool.  Her children are a few years older than mine.  They are playing the piano (and getting good, I might add, since there is playing the piano, and playing the piano).  They are soaring with academics.  The 9 year old daughter goes to sewing once a week.  She also picked up the flute the last couple years.  She hires a tutor to come teach her kids Spanish. She is able to make scripture study a part of school. And she has her girls in competitive gymnastics.  They go for 3 hours 2-3x a week.  Here is what she wrote on her blog about gymnastics:

People are always curious as to my reasons for homeschooling the children.  The reasons are myriad but include my desire for the children to be excellent and not overwhelmed.  I want them to excel and develop talents. ...


Gymnastics adds a wonderful balance to our homeschooling.  It gives the girls large blocks of time which they spend with a peer group and other adults.  It is a situation which requires discipline and performance.  Brent and I have no desire to train them for a future in gymnastics, most likely by the time they are 12 we will have reaped all the benefits of the sport.  The rigorous time demands can be very difficult for teammates who spend 7 hours at school.  It is a drain on the child and the family.  This has become very clear from my conversations with the mothers of their peers.  For now, gymnastics is serving an excellent purpose in the health and well being of the girls. 


Isn't that great? I just love that.  You see, homeschooling isn't about keeping your kids at home all the time and missing out in society.  You just get a different taste of society, still great interactions.  Since today is the Olympic Opening Ceremony, I've been thinking about this.  I don't ever plan on raising an Olympic athlete (that's called putting your eggs in the rarest basket), but I did gymnastics as a kid, and I really loved it.  I've always regretted quitting.  You want to know why I quit?  Because I was tired.  It was exhausting to go to school, then go straight to gymnastics, and never feel like you have any free time.  And if you do want to learn an instrument on top of that, or anything else useful... And what about family time, anyway?  You see.  So here I am again talking about homeschooling, when it's not what we will be doing this year.  I'm just trying to show you what I feel like I will be leaving behind if I don't homeschool, and why it makes me a little sad.  But I do have to say there is no one perfect way.  Each of the educational choices we've considered have their pros and cons.

In college I attended a presentation and the speaker was the mother of the year a while back.  She said that the education of your children is your responsibility.  You can use the schools as a tool, if you choose, but ultimately you are in charge of their education.  She also said that in any given year she'd have some children in public, some in private, and some homeschooled, depending on the child and the year (she had 11 children).  I've kind of kept this as my motto ever since, and will probably always consider the individuality of my children for the education.  I don't know if I could do that much juggling with 11 kids, though :)

More school talk

(Sorry, my blog seems to be forever picture-less.  Sure sign of laziness).

SOOOOOOO school is starting here in another few weeks, and I still have no idea what the blasted heck I am going to do! Jason has basically left the decision up to me (he agrees with the pros and the cons), but did tell me that I really need to set a time limit for myself.  I can't stew about it forever.  So this week is it.  I need to either buy the uniforms (I do like the idea of uniforms), or buy the curriculum.  I am feeling a big weight on my shoulders and my blog is my ranting outlet, so here I go with some more thoughts.

Am I wanting to homeschool out of fear?  I cannot deny this is partially true.  However, I recognize this, and I won't let fear guide my decision.  I have a funny habit of reading anonymous blogs of women whose husbands are addicted to pornography.  It is weird, since my husband is not, but I have a lot of strong feelings in this area, and I think it is best to be highly educated in this regard, and the blogs have a lot of good info.  And I have a lot of sympathy.  Anyway, when I read them I think our society is a mess, and frankly, I'm ready for the world to burn up.  C'mon, aren't you?  You know what I mean.  And almost every time I see a teenager (family function, church function, public setting, etc. ) they are inevitably texting.  Sheesh. (Okay, I don't mean to offend.  I'm sure not all kids do, and perhaps you see nothing wrong with it.  I just don't personally want my kids to be that way).  So, will homeschooling keep my kids out of these things?  I don't know.  Perhaps chronic robotic texting is inevitable in our society.  I always hear it is not good to make fear-based decisions.  But sometimes I think, I wouldn't jump out of my window because I'd be afraid.  Maybe that fear is there for a reason, ya know? (I know, jumping out the window also doesn't make sense.  Cheap analogy off the top of my head). But, several years ago I had a very big decision to make.  I felt so so so nervous and fearful about going through with it, but everyone told me, "Fear is not from God. From God is a stupor of thought."  (I had all encouragement from everyone to go ahead).  Let me tell you, everyone was wrong.  I don't know why I felt fearful, but I AM SO GLAD I DIDN'T GO THROUGH WITH THAT THING.  My life would be 100% different, and likely 100% worse.  So is fear a bad thing?  Sometimes answers to prayers are so clean cut for me, and other times I struggle.  Like now.

Since our move to our new house, the kids are PLAYING together.  They are so happy!  I love it.  Levi was constantly begging to go play with friends before.  I mean CONSTANTLY.  We are still new enough that he hasn't gotten into the habit of perpetual friend-playing, and it is really, really nice.  Nothing against friends, but I love to see my kids play together.  I remember growing up and resenting that there were friends at our house all the time.  Why couldn't we just hang out together.  I like my siblings.  When Levi has been playing with friends for a while (over an hour), he starts to get a little mean.  He's more disobedient, less careful in what he does, less inclusive of his sisters.  I don't know why this is, but I don't like it.  Now, how much is too much?  How much is not enough?

I have so many aspirations for my kids.  Maybe I'm not realistic.  Could I really pull it all off?  Many of the things I want my kids to learn are things that I DON'T DO, and I partly blame it on me spending too much time in the public school playing their game (cram, regurgitate, forget = 4.0).  I really want my kids to learn blue-collar jobs.  Not for a job necessarily, but to have that skill.  I believe/hope they will live to see the day of the collapse of everything, and it might come in handy for them to know how/where to dig a canal, how to be really good at gardening, how to build a house, and maybe even how to make shoes!  (I know, and you thought I was weird before.  Making shoes, come on, Erin.  Yes, yes, but really - I did  have religion professor who said we'd need to learn to make our own things, including shoes, but I don't have the quote he was referencing.  But if not shoes, I would atleast like my girls to be seamstress extraordinaires).  Anyway, I'm totally rambling.  I really resent the time-suck of school.  I WISH it could be 3 hours.  There is so much to learn.  I want my kids to do apprenticeships, and lots of them.  I think THAT is the best way to learn, in so many areas.  Not worksheets.  Not simulations. Not even oral reports and video aides.  It's funny because I keep hearing schools say they need to make financial literacy courses required for graduation.  I don't blame them - our society is debt-crazy, and that in itself is totally scary.  But a class or two isn't really going to do all that much.  I took two financial literacy classes in college, and was totally determined to save.  It seemed easy.  But it's only easy in theory.  Jason has taught me more about managing money than I could have ever learned even if I had a degree in finance. And I only learned it because he twisted my arm, ha ha, something for which I am eternally grateful.  And he learned it from his family, not really from Accounting.  Anyway, sometimes living something, practicing something, is so much better than just knowing about something.  And the schools don't give us that practice (not their fault, just limited resources).  We can learn some things after school from our families.  But there's not much time to learn many things, really well, after school.

There are wonderful things about the charter as well.  Not trying to play up just the homeschool.  I just don't have to explain so much what everyone already knows on the other side of the coin.

I have prayed and prayed about this, and have not gotten an answer.  I have sincerely told God that I will do whatever He wants me to do, but that I'd appreciate Him letting me know.  Also, from instructions on how to receive answers to prayers, I have made a decision and prayed about it.  When I got no answer, I made the other decision and prayed about it.  Perhaps He is telling me it doesn't matter.  Either choice would be good.

You see why I am so confused?  I know, it's just Kindergarten. Maybe I should just try it and see how it goes.  But that would mean giving up Levi's spot in the charter school.  The charter is drawn by lottery, and he only got in after being on the waiting list for a while.  What I don't want to have happen is homeschool a year, decide it's not for us, and end up sticking him in public school because he can't get into the charter again.  So I need to be confident.  But I'm so confused!!!

New House

Just before Jason graduated, he approached his real-estate professor and asked if he thought we should buy a home before we left for the summer, or wait until we returned.  He said that he thought we'd be better off waiting a year or two to purchase.  When Jason told me that, I hit the roof.  What?  A year or two?  At this point we already had 2 children, and I was so excited for my very own home.

It has been over 3 years since then, and we still haven't bought a house.  We're better off for it, although I do suspect the market has finally bottomed out.  But because we are non-commital, we decided to move to another rental with a yard, that is closer to the charter school (in case we decide to send Levi there).

That's a short version of what we are up to.  We moved in a couple weeks ago and love it.  The kids playing in the hose all day just like children should in the summer time.  I'd like to take bets.  How long until we actually decide to buy?

Mother's Day

I like this video.

Facts of Life

Levi:  Mom!  I caught a mom and a baby butterfly!

Me:  Really?  Let's see.

(Levi comes in and shows me.  It is obvious to me this is NOT a mom and a baby).

Levi:  Are they stuck?

Me:  Uh, yeah, they're stuck.  You better let them outside.

Levi:  Wait, I want to get them unstuck!

Me:  No, you better just let them go.

(Levi totally ignores me and tries to "unstick" them anyway.  I am surprised how much it takes to get them unstuck.  Weird creatures.  Anyway...)

Levi:  There! I got them unstuck.  Now they will live longer because they are unstuck.

Me:  Um, I guess.  (to myself: Please, don't ask questions; I'm totally not ready for this)

Levi:  That baby butterfly really loves me!

Me: (to myself: I doubt it).

Another random picture tells me I need to get newer pictures off my camera.

Update:  So anyone who read my post earlier, after I posted it, Jason read it, and said I may or may not be supporting a political cause that I don't believe in (shows my ignorance to politics), so I'm shortening the quote I put on earlier to the to the part that I actually like:

"Literature is dangerous except when taken in large doses." -Martin Cothran

(Meaning when we read a literary work, it is persuasive, and we tend to think that is the way it is, or should be, or how great minds think.  But it's not until we have read around in a lot of literary works, that we can evaluate a new idea against other ideas).

That's all.