Great video

This is several years old.  Two months after this appeared on television in England, Brian Deer began his allegations against Wakefield.

I know most of you think I am crazy, but I really love Andrew Wakefield.  This video is heart wrenching and interesting.  I have a lot of exposure to kids with Autism, from my brother to my students when I taught school.  I love all people with disabilities.  I can't help it, I just do, even if I am only passing them in the grocery store.  But I feel the most emotion for children with autism and their families.  It surely is the most tragic, as it is the lonely disability.    Just thinking about this because there was an article in the paper today of a "new" study finding heavy metals in much higher levels in children with autism.  So crazy how the majority of people are surprised by this.  The article, of course, will not say where the metals come from.  (I know, Tuna has more mercury than a vaccine!!  And since we are all injecting tuna into our bloodstream it really is no problem).  A man commented that people should stop listening to mass media and get their facts straight, and told the garbage on Wakefield.  Ummm mass media?  Helloooooo, no.  Instead, it's the reverse.  I am so grateful for the internet.  I can't imagine if I was only limited to what I was taught at school and what is in the local papers.  That said, I'll read all sides of the issue.

Firsts for Levi

Levi had a some great firsts this year.  It really is so fun to see him grow and learn.  I honestly never thought I would say that, as I just loved to mindlessly throw rocks in the gutter with him every day for hours.  I dreaded him getting bigger.  Every age he has been at, though, I think I want to freeze life right there.  So here were his firsts when he was 5 (in celebration of him just turning 6):

Levi started piano in February.  He rocks.  My mom is his teacher, and usually recommends kids start at 6 or 7, but Levi, as I've said many times, is non-self entertaining.  I mean, he really truly is non-self entertaining.  And when the girls were napping, I would BEG him to play with toys by himself.  And he couldn't.  He'd yack and yack, and lay on his back and look at the ceiling, and I would get frustrated because I expected nap time to be productive time for me.  And it wasn't happening.  (In fact, as I write this post, he's doing Legos, and I kid you not he has not left me alone for 2 complete minutes).  So I threw in the towel, and found something useful for us to do together - which is practice piano, and I absolutely love it, and he's learning so much.  Every now and then (like today) I still insist on a little me-time, and he's back to yacking.

Levi also started school, which I've already talked about.  But I wanted to talk just a little more to let you know I absolutely adore his school.  I am so very, very impressed.  Every time I'm at his school I stand in awe when his art teacher walks down the hall.  I feel like I'm looking at a celebrity.  I admire her so much.  ALL the kids' art is fantastic.  Levi's by no means an above-average artist, and look at this chalk cowboy!  This was done in 45 amazing minutes as instructed by a very talented teacher who has neither a degree in art nor in teaching.

I cannot, however, get over the 7 hour time demands of first grade and on.  So I am enjoying his time in Kindergarten, and I still have homeschool on the back of my mind for the future.  I am glad I sent him, though, because 1. It's been a great experience for him, and 2. Even if I do homeschool, my motives for doing so will be very different.  Basically it would ONLY be because school is too long.  Love everything else about his school.  What a dilemma I am in.

Jason taught Levi to ski this year.  My friend told me about some bunny hills around that are free.  We also took him night skiing to a resort where kids are free, and with a rope tied around him, he could do the blue squares.  So fun to be out on the slopes with him.  I am, however, completely afraid of heights.  There is no activity I like more than skiing (although because of cost we don't go much), but I'm always a little afraid of the lift.  And having Levi on the lift with me was all the much more nerve racking   I told myself I would not be an overprotective mom like this.  But here I am.

Levi also started gymnastics a couple months ago.  Because gymnastics is expensive I was waiting to start him, until I felt he was at an age where if we waited any longer he couldn't catch up easily, and I thought 5 was probably it.  Besides soccer (which is cheap and was not new this last year), and a semester of Kindermusik when he was a baby, these are the first lessons we have paid for for him (piano is free with my mom).  I am realizing that kids get more expensive as they get older.  I suppose if Levi loves gymnastics, he can do it for a long time.  But the plan right now is to let it be a springboard (no pun intended) in gross-motor development into other sports, preferably basketball, according to Jason.

Happy birthday to my sweet, wonderful, everything to me little boy.

My Girls Recently

These are some things I heard Camille say recently,
"Dad!  Levi's not getting me toilet paper!"  (He had asked her to get some for him to blow his nose, and she thought she'd ask the favor in reverse, though Levi was already asleep, and Camille didn't like him ignoring her).
"I take a bath.  Actually, a shower."
And I'm thinking, did she just say 'actually'?  
Not bad for 22 months old.

She learned to climb out of her crib a month ago.  Bummer.  It's been a rough month in the sleep department (not that it was ever great), but she's done much better the last few nights, knock on wood.

We went off our diet after 1 year (in June) to pursue another healing venue (I'm shooting for the same purpose, but decided on different means).  Camille immediately took a turn for the worse.  She got a chronic diaper rash that she still has.  She has a rash on her cheeks this winter that she didn't last.  She had an immediate change in behavior - anxiety (though not as severe as Dana), and irritability. Night waking galore. She also got really constipated, something which is finally clearing up.  Jason had questioned our diet all along, but as soon as he saw Camille's changes, he said, "What happened to her!  We need to go back on the diet!"  But we couldn't.  I was doing horrible on it (besides the dark under-eye circles, which are still gone).  Camille was doing the best, and everyone well, but me, horrible. (I still nurse, so can't do her on and me off). I've been hitting this other protocol pretty hard, and am finally *I hope* seeing positive improvements in Camille.

And Dana.  Oh, my sweet little Dana.  I am so worried about her.  She has major emotional problems.  People ask me why I go through the efforts I do with food.  They must not understand what it is like to have a child with anxiety.  But most likely they must not believe anxiety has anything to do with digestion.  Who could let their child live like this?  Daily panic attacks over nothing. I keep imagining her as a 14 year old running off with a 35 year old creep, because she's so insecure about herself.  So, yes, I would do anything.  I thoroughly believe her problem lies in her digestive system.  She has chronic diarrhea, and when I can get her stools solid (by use of bentonite clay), she is calm and happy. A very obvious correlation to me.   It just takes a long time to heal a gut.  I wish it could go faster.

Gosh, this health stuff is really annoying.  I am determined to finish up a job I started, but I am so sick of it all.  The good news is this other protocol is not a diet.  We have even been out to eat a handful of times, which has been fun (though I often bring our own salad dressing, ha ha), and am choosy about what we get off the menu.  We eat all whole foods at home, still honey and fruit as our only sweeteners, still lots of butter :) But it's not so strict. (But still very strict compared to most people's standards).  I felt absolutely paranoid of everything on the other protocol.  Now I am more relaxed.  But I'm also still trying to simplify my time in the kitchen, because I actually do not have a love of cooking, by any means (I basically hate it).  I simply have an intense desire for my family to be happy and healthy.

Does trying to eat healthy make you sick?

That's what someone asked me the other day - she said it seems the people who care most about food have the most problems.  When I was pregnant with Levi, I was working in the public schools, and I ate school lunch every day.  I "cared" about nutrition enough that I bought whole wheat bread vs. white, and I tried to have a dark leafy green salad with dinner.  That was about it.  And yet Levi still came out with colic and reflux.  My  girls I ate different things, and still the same scenario.

I think having health problems leads people on a quest to find a solution.  It is no fun having a baby that cries all the time.  It is no fun not feeling good.  Actually, I was so miserable during Levi's pregnancy.   I realized if that was what chronic health problems were like I would do whatever I could to prevent them.  However, I didn't really change anything in our diets too much until he was about 8 months old. Restrictive diets can be damaging to some, and not others.  But I think all in all, if your body is healthy - if you have good bacteria, it doesn't matter what you eat.  You can eat junk, you can eat vegan, you can eat paleo, you can eat whole foods, whatever, and your body can handle it.

Just thought I'd say that in case anyone has wondered.

What REALLY Makes You Healthy (Hint: it's not healthy food).

*I had a change in what I wrote on the percent of women who get breast cancer.  Thought I should point it out, because I was just remembering a number off the top of my head, but I should double check my facts before I write them down, I guess. Anyway, it's updated in here.

Camille eating an apple.
An apple a day, however, does not necessarily keep the doctor away.

I think a few of you follow Greensmoothiegirl.  Did you read her posts about how she "Accidentally walked for the cure?"  She went jogging in NY and happened upon a bunch of pink-wearing supporters.  She talks about the marketing genius of the campaign (did you know greensmoothiegirl actually teaches marketing - or something in the business department - at BYU?).  Anyway, her insight is interesting, and worth your read, I think.  But I don't totally agree.

For a while now, the "Walk for the Cure" has made me unsettled inside.  My mom had breast cancer about 4 years ago.  My mother-in-law had it this past year.  It's not that I didn't want treatment for them, but it drives me absolutely nuts how breast cancer is on a very steep climb, and yet, we're so worried about the "cure" and no one does anything to figure out the cause.  I mean, what if 12% of women didn't have to have their breasts chopped off in the first place?  In addition, my MIL is now on a medication she is supposed to take for the rest of her life, and it is making her absolutely ill.  She has become a different person this past year, since her treatments began.  Because of "early diagnosis" she had no clue of her disease until her yearly mammogram   She's been though so much.  She was so full of energy, came to visit all the time, just generally happy.  She is really struggling now to feel good, be happy, and have energy.  And yet she's getting top of the line care from the nearby cancer treatment center that is world-renowned.

That said, I'm not sure that alternative treatments have all that much more to offer.  I have told many of you how I got interested in alternative medicine in the first place.  Dana had a urinary tract infection.  We took her to the ER on doctors orders.  The bill came out to be $5600.  This was a non-complicated UTI, but the bill was as much as it costs to have a baby!  Anyway, I decided then I wanted OUT of the system of our health care.  I am so frugal in every way, and yet it was always those medical bills that we were throwing huge chunks of money at.  I have not even spent $5600 to clothe my ENTIRE family for our ENTIRE marriage, and yet, all that for one UTI.  (PS. We had insurance and got a lawyer involved, so our insurance paid up except $1500.  But still).  In addition to that, I felt completely HELPLESS watching Dana be so sick.  She was only 4 months old at the time, and there wasn't a thing I could do for her.  Because I think about emergency preparedness a lot, I realized w/o antibiotics she would have died.  So all this led me on my natural quest, which has been an interesting journey.

We have seen several natural practitioners for this and that.  In western medicine, there is a standard of care that is predictable.  If my kid has a fever for more than a few days, I know what to expect:  check the ears, the throat, the lungs.  If nothing, either wait, or check the urine. And then, of course, out come the antibiotics.  Pretty simple.  But these natural doctors are all over the place.  One will do foot-zoning, one will recommend homeopathics, one spine adjustments, etc. etc.  In fact, I have been to several chiropractors, and they are all so different from each other.  But the thing that bugs me most about them, is they are all SURE they can fix the problem.  See, a regular doctor will send you elsewhere if they don't know what to do for you.  Not these natural guys (except one lady I saw).  You may have to go in 10 or 20 times, but don't worry, they have the solution!  Hardly. I started becoming pretty suspicious when I looked at the people around me in the chiropractic office, and realized they were really not any healthier-looking than the general population at Walmart.  And I could say the same for the natural practitioners themselves.

So what are we to do?  Breast cancer (and every cancer and disease for that matter) is on the rapid rise.  Is eating a raw vegan diet (or a Weston Price diet, or a whole foods diet, or whatever) going to prevent cancer?  No, as you'll see if you read greensmoothiegirl's comments.  It definitely helps people be healthier than they otherwise would be, so may prevent some cancer.  But ultimately your food does not make you healthy.

Did I just say that?  I think I'll say it again, because I'm sure you are all dying of shock that I, of all people, just said that.  FOOD DOES NOT MAKE YOU HEALTHY.  Maybe a little healthier than you otherwise would be.  But I'll tell you, we eat pretty darn perfect (and have also been all over the map mostly vegan, Weston Price, whole foods, etc.), and my kids have more digestive problems than a lot of kids who walk around drinking sodas and eating chips all the time.  So what makes you healthy, I believe, is your body.  But it's not your genes.  You see, if it were GENETIC, these diseases would not be on the rise, because there is no such thing as a genetic epidemic.  I believe it's your body, but NOT your genes.  It's the bacteria in your body.  If your bacteria is healthy enough to eliminate toxins from your body, you are healthy, even if you eat toxic food (i.e. junk food).  If your body does not have enough good bacteria, then those toxins stay inside you.  Eating healthy foods will bind to some of those toxins and help them to not damage you so much.  And a healthy diet will help you not add too many new toxins to your body.  But healthy food, even juicing, does not eliminate those toxins.  It is crucial to have that good bacteria.  I learned about this almost 2 years ago, and have been on a quest to find the best way to replace that good bacteria (Nice try, Yoplait, but you aren't anywhere near strong enough to make someone healthy).  What I am finding is that this gut health idea is not new, and there are many possible solutions to the problem.  I'm finally making good progress (I took a terrible down-turn for a while), but I'm doing better.  I have a ways to go, still.

So back to what greensmoothiegirl said.  I, personally, am cutting western medicine some slack.  It really is much more complicated than drinking greensmoothies. Our bodies are so very complicated.  Not that there isn't a way to be healthy, but that the solution is not simple.  I am glad I have come to these terms, because when I first entered the natural world, I became pretty bitter against western medicine.  Besides the fact that they ripped me off financially over and over, I was mad that the stuff I'd been giving my kids to make them healthy was in fact, treating symptoms and ultimately made them more unhealthy.  I was mad that they make all natural people seem like quacks.  They have a total monopoly on the market.  Who, after all, wants to fall for quackery?  But really, a lot of the natural treatments I have seen are in no way "healing" us any more than the drugs were.  They are also treating symptoms, they are just doing so naturally.  So we're on a quest to fill our guts/bowels with good bacteria.  It's exciting, expensive, and I hope and pray that in a year or so I can tell you all about our successful journey *please oh please.*  That's what I think.

(Halloween at end of post)

I got a card in the mail today.  This is what it said:

Dear [us],

I just had to write a brief note to tell you what a superb job your little son did on Sunday [primary program].  I was so impressed at how well he sang.  He knew all the songs, practically word-for-word of every verse, and performed as well as his dear little voice would allow.

In this day and age children's attention spans are limited but he is to be congratulated for paying attention and picking up what he has learned.  I have worked in Primary as a Chorister and know how difficult it can be to teach songs to children.  He must be one of the exceptions to the rule.

I so much enjoyed sitting in the front row listening to him sing.  He really put his heart and soul into every song, it was a joy to watch and listen.

Thank you for raising such a precious, stalwart young child.  You have every reason to be justly proud of him.  If he's like this at Sunbeam age, think of the possibilities as he grows into adolescence and young manhood.  It will be a pleasure to watch him develop.

Thank him for bringing such a beautiful ray of sunshine into my life on Sunday.  I could hug him to pieces.

Love, [Lady who I didn't know by name, who I have hardly talked to]



This note is one I am keeping.

Well, Levi does makes me super proud.  I've been trying to upload videos of his piano playing but blogger isn't letting me.  But he's making crazy progress.  I found it interesting she mentioned his attention span because it's so true.  He is so out of this world with his focus. He catches onto things and remembers everything, I tell you.  Oh, except he doesn't remember to go to the bathroom.

BUUUUUUT, this lady!  What a sweet woman.  I don't know if she wrote notes like this to everyone (she's not even in the primary, and I didn't know she knew who Levi was), but either way, what a thoughtful thing to do.  I feel like I am always in my own little world.  I have so much to do.  I try to be nice, but I don't notice things, and I don't remember to congratulate people.  It sounds so bad, but I really truly have horrible brain fog.  I used to think it was me being blonde, but after being in the world of natural health, I completely believe in the term "brain fog."  I think being thoughtful like this should be my end goal in life.  I want to send nice sincere notes to people to make their day (or their month, like this one).  What a sweetheart.  I definitely know who she is now.  And she's my hero.

And because I don't want to leave this blog w/o a picture, here's Halloween:

Levi wanted to be something scary.  I was relieved when he thought a Ninja was scary.  As far as Dana, well,  I want my kids to be what they WANT to be, but I am selfish when I say I don't want my girls to be only fairies and princesses for the next 10 years.  So I was so happy when Dana liked this little get-up, probably because of the lacy underskirt.

This year was store-bought, mostly from the consignment shop.  So for $24 and very little effort, 3 kids were happy.

Tomatoes

Using butter knives.

My MIL is the best.  She really is.

One thing she does is gardens for us, harvests it for us, and delivers it to our door. Sometimes she even helps me preserve it.  This is our first year w/ a back yard, and the first thing Jason did after moving in was build a little garden box in the back yard.  But it went in late, and it's small, so certainly not enough to preserve.  Anyway, so in-laws have been our garden source for years, which we truly appreciate.

So I came to the conclusion a while ago I don't bottle food to save money.  What do I save, maybe $2/hr?  But I think it's a good thing to do.  The kids are getting old enough to be semi-helpful, which is nice.  Okay, it's really hard to hold down the fort around here and preserve food at the same time. But Levi and Dana do help some.

Funny story:  I remember when I was first in college I was so surprised to see my roommates use bottled spaghetti sauce from the store.  I didn't even know it existed!  My mom always used tomato sauce and a seasoning packet.  Fast forward a couple years, after I was married my MIL told me I could make spaghetti by using a can of diced tomatoes and spices.  What?  I had no idea.  I remember having a surplus of garden tomatoes one fall a few years back, and I opened a can of tomatoes to make "homemade" spaghetti sauce.  Ha ha.  Shortly thereafter, I realized I could use fresh tomatoes to make it.  I just thought back to this today and laughed at myself.  DUUUHHH!!!  Needing packets, bottles, cans (eye roll).  That's completely opposite how I cook now.